For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. -Romans 8:18 ESV
Living with M.E./CFS for the past 8 years has been difficult as you can understand. When I first was diagnosed, I really struggled with the news but grateful to know it wasn’t in my head. I had already struggled for two years of utter fatigue before finding out what was wrong. I just thought it was a part of depression and anxiety of which I also suffer from.
I did not want to face up to the diagnoses and take time off as was recommended in the beginning. I worked one more year, preaching and fulfilling my duties as an officer/minister in The Salvation Army. Sadly, my body gave up after that year and I became housebound ever since.
I had lost my freedom and abilities to do things quickly. I was angry. I was upset. I was even more depressed. I hated life.
I prayed for healing (and I still do). Others prayed for me. However, I was told that I did not have enough faith to be healed therefore God couldn’t heal me. I was also told it may be undiscovered sin that is keeping me from being healed. These words added to my despair.
Life is even more difficult than when I was first diagnosed. In the past couple of years I have also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, peripheral neuropathy, and osteoarthritis in my lower spine. I am unable to walk more than 10 metres, therefore, I have use a wheelchair when going out anywhere. I get exhausted and have bouts of pain anytime I go out and do things. Flareups can last for a week or more.
I cannot cook, clean, launder, drive (I just turned in my licence), walk much with crutches within the house, etc. Most of my days are spent in my recliner chair.
Since being off work for five years, my outlook on life has changed. I keep myself busy everyday with a strict schedule. Most days I have my devotions, share posts online, have a nap, lunch, write and listen to lessons, play a few games for myself, have tea, finish playing a few games, knit or make cards for people and watch telly, read, and then go to sleep.
I have decided to focus on what I can do. This keeps my mind off the negative.
My relationship with Christ has grown. He has been healing wounds from my past. He has been reaching deep into my heart and showing me his amazing love.
I have learnt to be grateful for every day and the gifts God has been giving me. I even keep a journal of things I am grateful for. I was inspired by Ann Voskamp’s book, 1,000 gifts, and have written more than a 1,000 gifts God had given me since last year.
God has been teaching me patience, contentment, love, and especially hope.
Hope is such a beautiful thing. Hope is what keeps me going.
Hope is knowing that no matter what I go through Jesus is with me. Hope is also what Paul speaks about in Romans 8:18 ESV, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
What I am going through now is just a blip in the light of eternity. Heaven is a place where there is no sickness, pain, sorrow, or tears.
Because of the hope I have in Jesus, I continue to trust him. I have faith, trusting Christ despite the illnesses.
You can have the hope I have as well, if you will just take your focus off your problems and focus on Jesus instead. Jesus is worth our attention and praise. I promise you, it helps greatly.
Be authentic with Jesus. He knows our hearts. He longs for us to be close to him. Don’t use illness as an excuse to stay away. God did not give us these illnesses. He has allowed us to suffer them, but for his glory. Everyone suffers at some point in their lives.
Remember, what we suffer here on earth is just a blip in eternity. God’s glory which will be revealed to us will be worth all the suffering we go through.
Stay strong. Place your hope in Christ. Keep going. God bless you.