In order to follow along in this study, please read and reread Proverbs 31:10-31. For each section now, I will add the scripture, which are all in NIV unless otherwise stated. God bless you.
Love for her husband
The Virtuous Wife
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)
Being virtuous is being the husband’s crown. The crown represents deity, honour, respect, worth and royalty. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband…” (Proverbs 12:4). She brings honour and glory to him.
Ever wonder why a woman takes so long to get ready for a simple outing? There are many jokes about her, but she is making sure that she looks good for her man. When she comes out of the bathroom with her hair styled, her makeup on, her sweet perfume, she makes her husband quite happy. He will never admit it but inside he is bursting with pride. He looks forward to going out with his beautiful woman that he loves so much. He feels like a king, lord of the castle. She is his crown.
Most crowns have precious jewels encircled in them. The wife is valued more than any precious jewels, more than rubies. She is of noble character. “Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD” (Proverbs 19:14).
This woman of God is one that can be trusted. Her husband has no concern of her committing adultery, gossiping, lying, or stealing. He is secure in their relationship. They are faithful to each other. With her beside him, he lacks nothing. He does not need to gain another love for she makes him complete.
Trust comes out of submission. God’s Word says that women are to be submissive to their husbands as the husband is submissive to God. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18).
Submission is realizing that the woman is the weaker sex and God has placed the man as the head of the household. The man is there to protect and provide for the woman. The woman in turn shows respect to her husband by submitting to his leadership.
The virtuous wife does her husband no harm. She only wants to do good for him. She makes sure that her relationship to him is priority. Her love for him cannot be denied. She does everything she can to please him until the day she dies.
Christ is our husband. “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth” (Isaiah 54:5). Our total allegiance should be given to Him. We are to be His crown. He adores us. He loves us. Our lives should bring honor and glory to Him.
When we go to “church” meetings, are we there looking what we can get from God or are we looking at how we can please Him? Everything we participate in as a corporate body should bring honour and glory to God. Much preparation is brought to programming, and usually it is to make people feel comfortable and have the sense of feeling His presence. Yes, we should seek His presence, but most importantly, we should seek His heart. What makes God pleased with our worship? He wants us to worship in Spirit and in truth. “God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth” (John 4:24).
Worship does not just happen on Sunday morning or whenever the doors are opened at our place of fellowship. It is a daily relationship with God our Maker, Lover, and Friend. Everything we do and say should be out of worship for Him. We cannot worship God and curse our enemies the next day. “But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:8-10). Our words have power and we need to be very careful what comes out of our mouths.
Can God really trust us? If we are gossiping, lying, cursing others, and not being real in our relationship with Him, then the answer is no. No, He cannot trust us. A virtuous wife is trustworthy. She does nothing to make her husband question her love and loyalty to him. What consumes our time? Is it family, friends, television, computers, internet, cell phones, work? If Christ is our priority, He should be the first person we think of when we wake up and the last when we lie down. He should be a part of our conversations. He should be the very air that we breathe.
In order for us to be effective as a church, we need to come to the realization that we are nothing without Christ. He is our cornerstone. He is our Rock. He is our Everything. When He sees that He has our total devotion, He will give more of Himself to us.
The marriage is consummated through sexual intercourse. The two flesh become one. Once this happens, there is no room for adultery. The more the woman gives to her man, the more he is satisfied. He knows that she loves him, and thinks that he is everything to her.
Jesus wants us to have intimacy with Him, not sexual intimacy, but an intimacy that ordinary men cannot fathom. He speaks of this in John 6, in a beautiful depiction of partaking of His flesh and blood. “Then Jesus said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For My flesh is food indeed, and My blood is drink indeed. He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him. As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of Me. This is the bread which came down from heaven — not as your fathers ate the manna, and are dead. He who eats this bread will live forever” (John 6:53-58). Jesus wants us to be in daily communion with Him. The more time we spend with Him getting to know Him better and more intimately, the easier it will be to worship in spirit and in truth. He will then be able to trust us.
Christ does not want just a part of us. He wants all of us. So often we come to Him and give Him an area of our lives and leave the rest till “later”. Why wait until He comes back to take us home to really experience Him? He wants to give us more than we can ever imagine, but so many are too scared, afraid of the unknown. We have heard the old adage that God cannot be put into a box, that is true, but God cannot move further in our lives unless we allow Him. He is a gentleman. He will not force us to love Him and accept Him. It is our responsibility to seek Him. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).
After living with each other, married couples can finish each other’s sentences, share common goals, and have a similar mindset. As we give of ourselves to God, we will be changed. We will be transformed. Naturally, we will become more like Him. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2). If we want to please God the rest of our days, we need to be serious about our relationship with Him. The more time we spend in His Word and in prayer, the more we will know Him. It is not enough to have knowledge about God. We need to get know Him intimately. “True religion is a union of God with the soul, a real participation of the divine nature, the very image of God drawn upon the soul, or in the apostle’s phrase, it is Christ formed in us” (Henry Scougal).
Church, Christ is to be our priority. He is to be the first one that we devote ourselves to. We cannot minister to our family, our neighbors or our enemies unless we are devoted totally to Him. Nothing else matters unless we are completely, helplessly, and hopelessly in love with Christ. When we get to that level of love, the things of the world will not matter. We will want to do everything to please our lover. Christ is our Beloved, and we are His. We are His crown.