Faith has been the word seen in three of my devotions today. According to the Oxford dictionary, faith means having complete trust in someone or something. It also means having a strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof. Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.”
Since I have been ill, I have had it said to me over and over again that I must have great faith to be healed or I don’t have enough faith or any faith. It’s been a very hard journey with faith throughout this time, I have struggled at times with it. However, I can honestly say despite the struggles, I believe my faith in God has grown stronger.
I believe that Jesus is Lord and yes, he can heal. I have seen his healing in my life before. I have read other people’s stories of healing and I get excited whilst having a tear shed wanting to be healed in that way as well.
I have complete trust God is with me every step of the way. I believe there is greater faith trusting him despite how I physically, emotionally and spiritually feel. I have been pretty much told by health professions there is nothing much more they can do to help me other than be a support. I have been told just keep using the pacing techniques I have learnt and just do the best I can everyday. It’s very hard hearing those words. I cannot say I understand why, and I have asked God why several times. But it is not for me to know. I just trust.
I cannot walk through this journey of life without Jesus. He is my source of strength. I have a gut feeling something wonderful is going to happen and I do hope one day my dreams will come true. My desire is to be a house of prayer- a place where people can share their concerns, be prayed for and over, and seeing God move in their hearts and lives in miraculous ways. I have had this calling in my heart for the past several years. Mark, my husband, has told me time again I am already following this dream.
I may not be healed but I have grown in my relationship with God. He has given me new avenues of ministry that I never thought I would have before. I have more empathy and compassion for others due to the disabilities that come with arthritis, fatigue and fibromyalgia. I trust God to continue to use me in any way he can.
I’m not going to give up on God just because I am unwell. My faith is still strong. It may not be the name it, claim it faith, but it is still faith indeed. I trust God with my life and my soul. My hope is in Christ. My joy is in Christ. Christ is my daily strength. If I am not healed on this earth, I will have a new body in heaven that will not decay, will not suffer pain, etc. Praise the Lord!
I close with a poem I wrote a long time ago called FAITH.
Faith is hope.
Be assured of it!
Though I may not always see God,
He is here.
Faith is courage!
Walk in it!
The walls that surround the
Promised Land will come down!
Faith is action!
Though the enemy is at hand,
Victory is mine.
Faith is humbleness!
I surrender my life
Forsaking All I Trust Him!